A Breakthrough... Maybe

I haven't been creating much of anything in the past couple of years. I have been quilting but that's my new business. I haven't been designing or making any new dolls or Halloween pieces. Even though I've been doodling ideas, nothing has come to being. I asked myself why? What was I doing or not doing that stopped my producing artwork? I know I had a creative block a few years ago and knew why but this was something different. I looked at my art/craft friends on Facebook to see what they were doing because they were producing work. Whether they made art as their main business or as a second business, they were getting things done. I found that they not only had ideas, but sketches. Those sketches obviously gave them a springboard to do the final piece, whether the final piece looked like the sketch or not. And that was my problem.

I have goo gobs of ideas, some sketched on tiny pieces of paper. I had begun to group them together and got down to three piles. And that was as far as I got. I didn't separate them into groups such as dolls, busts, ornaments. I didn't make anymore detailed sketches so that I would absolutely know what I was thinking about doing. So for the next week, I will separate and arrange my mini sketches into group ideas. I will then pick ones that I can develop and sketched them out more. Then I can finally get down to work and make something. And I made a deadline. I will reopen my Etsy shop March 1. Period, the end. Wish me luck.

I have been doing some snail mail art. I had promised some people letters and they are finally getting them. This is my second batch.

It was fun doing them. After pulling out a few teeth to just get started. Hopefully we won't get anymore snow for a couple of weeks. I'll head back into the studio tomorrow. Have a good week!

Finished

I finally finished something this year. My second pair of knitted socks. It took me about three years to do so but they are done and I can now wear them. Good grief. It took me two and a half hours to finish them up. What was I waiting on? I have no idea but they are done and are the first thing on my 'Finished' list. I feel pretty good right now. Maybe I can carry that feeling through the rest of the week and finish something else.

The First Week

There's one more day, today, left in my week. I start my new week on Sunday. For the first week of the new year, I didn't too to bad. I want to at least write five days out of the week and I did just that. I got my first business quilt, I got the binding attached to two preemie quilts (I'll stitch those down today), I finished my last Sashiko piece and I'm ready for the next step of that project. I cut out and sewed two new dolls for Halloween and I discovered something else about me. I guess kind of an epiphany. Nothing will ever be perfect enough. My apartment, my work area, nothing. For so long I've been putting off doing creative things because of numerous things. Excuses really. Not enough room, I want a separate spot to make dolls or do paper clay or polymer clay. I don't have enough shelving unit space. The list went on and on. The clock continued to tick on and on and I would end up berating myself because nothing got done. I'd see others online who had a table in the corner of their living room, or were using the kitchen table in between meals. How were they able to get things done and not me? Everyone would like to have that cool studio space with all the supplies needed to do whatever at the ready. That's a great dream. But when do I actually make something?

I have a friend who is also in the same predicament. We talked this week and I saw myself in her. She said, I've got to get this section cleared out. I've got to arrange things for the 13th time. Things aren't quite right. I got it. But I didn't like it when I saw me. I was getting older and not producing anything. And that's when I told myself that it's okay not to have that extra table to work on or have that extra shelf to put more stuff on. I looked around my apartment and I have everything that I need to at least get started with something. I decided that I wasn't going to have those excuses anymore. The fear is real and it will always be there. I've dealt with it before. Now it's time to wrangle it again.

Be open to new things. A mantra for the year. You just never know what will come around. There are new tenants in the building where my quilt studio is. I can't do wet things there because of the carpet on the floor. That was one of my excuses for not doing anything in my apartment which has hardwood floors. Yeah. These two new tenants create apps for kids. They introduced themselves (it was very nice to have a man stand up to do so) and we got to talking. They had seen my longarm machine in my spot and I told them I was getting back into making Halloween things and writing. They told me what they did. And for a brief instant, a light bulb turned on over each of our heads. It was fun to see the wheels turning and we all smiled. They asked me about what I wrote and if I had any ideas that could be adapted to an app. I may have an opportunity to write and illustrate a game app for kids. They invited me to their office and I was able to see them tweak their newest app that should be out soon. How cool is that? I'll keep you informed of any developments.

So writing my new life script is starting to work. No more waiting for the perfect time to write or create. Do it now. No more beating myself up. Telling myself what an interesting and creative person I am and that I can do what I set my mind to do. To break big projects up into smaller pieces and work on those. One brick at a time makes a house. Or a castle.

Am I still scared? A little but I'm going to work with the fear instead of against it.

Onward!

Yikes!

What a day! Eegads!

Don't get me wrong. It was a good day. I got quite a bit done. Yesterday I wasn't in the studio because of sinus issues. I'm feeling much better today. I got into the studio, cut out and sewed two dolls; cut, made and stitched binding on my two preemie quilts; and I finished working on my last Sashiko piece. Phase one of that project. But... but...

I was irritable all day long. Everyone irritated me to no end. Kids running up and down the hall, people slamming doors, inconsiderate young woman locked the outer door to the lady's restroom. Seriously? There are two stalls in the restroom. It told her that when she got out and she didn't get it. I repeated it and as to why she had that door locked? Then she got it. She did say a weak "Sorry" but I had to go. Now that I think about it, why would you lock a woman's restroom when there is more than one stall. Ugh! Not going to think about that right now. My blood pressure is finally going down.

Why the irritability? That crazy planet Mercury is in retrograde. Now you may not believe in that kind of stuff but I do. I was very proud of myself that I didn't break down and cry or break anything over anyone's head. But the whole day was just weird. One moment I'd be happy and I could conquer the world. The next minute, yes minute, I just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. Then I'd be back up again. I kept telling myself that I know what's wrong. So keep going. Which I did and I'm very proud of myself. I was talking to a friend today and she said that her mentally challenged clients were being weird too and one of her co-workers asked if there was a full moon. They even checked the calendar and there wasn't, then I told her about the retrograde. Her light bulb went off. Mercury hits the space road on the 23rd I think. It won't be soon enough.

So here's my last Sashiko piece. I will be working on phase two next week. I've been planning this project when I finished my first piece. I hope it works out.