Day 2- 31 Days of Halloween

I was going to write a longer post of my very cool weekend getaway but time got away. So here's my drawing for October and I did continue to set up my Bullet Journal.

Yes, I spelled piranha wrong. Whatever. A cross between Audrey and Day of the Triffids. I think. Maybe not.

The beginnings of October. Lots more room to fill in. And my creative muse team is growing. Bailey has a new friend who doesn't have a name yet. He is a creation by the wonderful artist Nicole Johnson of mealy mOnster land.

Also been packing for the doll show this weekend. Gotta get more organized. Later!

#mealymonsterland nicolejohnson

My Mini Muse

Bailey Magoo Bear is turning out to be a great help in getting things worked on. He assisted with the first paint and embroidery job on the voodoo doll pins. And then approved the short pants and skirts to go on said pins. I know I'll keep him around.

Moving Right Along

Yes, moving right along. When I started my latest voodoo dolls, I didn't like them. The fabric I got wasn't the greatest because that's what we get unless you go to the really expensive places. I would get to the next step and they still looked horrid and I was beginning to worry that maybe I shouldn't have taken on this task. But the little voice inside said to keep going and now they are beginning to look like something. I had made the Muddy Creek stamp but the ink that I used wasn't permanent so I painted the name following what I stamped. Looks a lot better and got eyes on.

And I have a new muse. His name is Mesmer Boris Ratchett. I got him today and he will be getting dressed up. His head moves and he's perfect for a huge project I started working on. Plus, he's my reward for sticking with the voodoo dolls. You have to reward yourself when you get to a certain point in a project and most definitely when you finish one. I've got to get into that habit. Reward myself with some chocolate or a magazine or something for a job well done. I deserve that.

#voodoodoll #rat #mesmerborisratchett

7 March -No pic post

Gonna make this short but it's happened again. Last month was okay with a big online art challenge and getting other things done. It was great and the adrenaline was coursing. I was happy and excited. Well, things ended February 28 and the adrenaline went away and I crashed. At least this time, I didn't crash and burn. With a couple of explosions thrown in for good measure. It took me two days to get back in the swing of things and looking back on past experiences, that's pretty good.

I like having challenges. Something to work towards or for. If it helps me out in the process (financially), that's a bonus. But when the event is over, or the deadline met, I feel lost. The rush is gone and it takes a long time to build it back up again. There's nothing like getting into your zone. It's exciting and freeing and it makes you feel like you can solve all the world's problems and conquer the universe. But when the task is over and the surge of adrenaline is gone... poof... just gone, it can be bad. In the past, the crash would be so bad that I would cry for days, crawl under a blanket and suck my thumb. Okay, maybe not suck my thumb but rock back and forth. How would I get that fantastic feeling back? It took a couple of years to figure out what was going on and prepare for it. Now, instead of taking weeks to recover and get on with the next project, it's days.

Things that help me out or get into the next thing:

• start a project right before the previous adrenaline rush ends. That won't give me time to think about which project to start next. It won't give me time to be overwhelmed by all the projects I want to do. All 586,439 projects. Okay, not that many. Just wanted to see if you're paying attention. 
• Listen to someone's voice. I have several friends who have amazing voices. I don't have to tell them what's wrong, just that I needed to hear their voice. And then they make me laugh and it puts me in a different frame of mind to get back to work, to keep going.
• Do a marathon of really bad movies. This is new. I've been watching disaster flicks. Most make me laugh. I know they aren't supposed to do that but they're so bad, that's all you can do so you won't try to sell dust bunnies online. They just make me feel like I can create anything.
• Pick something to do at the bottom of my list. And I have a very long list. Something I totally forgot that I was going to do. 

It's just a matter of time before I'm back into my zone. That, I KNOW. I will get a group of projects going to make sure my adrenaline is more on an even keel than extreme spikes that can knock down a raging T-Rex. How do you deal with your adrenaline spikes when working on something special or for a deadline? What do you do to stay in your zone on a regular basis?

I guess this wasn't short after all. Ha! Until next time. It will be soon. Create everyday. Doodles count too.

What the Heck!

Yep!  What the heck?  Where has this year gone?  My head is spinning and the world is upside down.  In thirteen more days it will be the longest day of the year.  And you know what happens after that... the days start getting shorter.  What?  The past couple of weeks have been a bit crazy.  I'm working on catching up on things, like wrapping up May.  That just totally slid by me.  Two commissions and an art show later, I can come up for air.  A bit.  So grab your favorite beverage, your favorite seat and get comfortable.  This may take awhile.  Where do I begin?

Okay, I'll begin with the end of May.  The last day, the 31st, when I realized that I had been out of work for a year and actually survived.  There were times where I did get help from some wonderful people but I didn't give up on my dream of being an artist.  Not starving but severely struggling and that could be a mind thing in itself.  My emotions were all over the place.  Happy because I took a chance.  How many other people do? With several false starts, I forged ahead.  Not knowing where I was going or how things were going to turn out.  Working out a schedule for me that would work for what I wanted to do.  I'm still working on that but I've found out that I write better in the mornings.  I work great with the painting and dolls after lunch.  That's a good thing.  I'm still amazed that I can do that.  Make my own schedule.  Some days I have to chuck it out the window, but it's my schedule.

Happy because I've been creating and working on new designs, even though most didn't work out.  But attempt was there.  I didn't know if they would work or not and the drama between the two Wendy's was epic.  I can't. I can.  I can't.  Oh, just do it and worry about the outcome later.  I even surprised myself when I had to do a cloth doll for a graduation gift.  With very little time to do it.  I couldn't find my old patterns because brilliant me decided to put them in envelopes and file them away.  Far, far away.  They are quite safe.  So, I did what any doller would do.  Made up a new pattern and doll in a day.  I really like this new pattern and I'm trying to figure out what else I can with it.  Got her painted and dressed in the second day.  I really need to figure out how to keep that kind of fire under my butt at all times.  Be able to turn it on and off.  Good Wendy was impressed.   Bad Wendy's head exploded.  For those of you not familiar with The Wendy's, they are my muses and alter egos.  They either encourage me, present bright ideas, or go totally AWOL.

Happy because I've have been in the zone so many times that is was a form of enlightenment.  Pleasure. Excitement.  There were times when I felt like I was flying and when  project was done, I didn't crash and burn like in previous years.  I stepped right into the next thing.  There were times when my brain actually hurt because I was thinking things through.  They say that your brain is a muscle and this past year I have stretched it.  I actually felt it getting stronger.  Neurons reconnecting.

Happy because of the many times I questioned myself and I just didn't give up.  I kept going.  There was always tomorrow.  I was blessed with new days.  Days to start over again if I had to and sometimes, I had to.  Days of being alone and stuck in my studio.  Working on a project through tears because this was my new job.  Something I've always wanted to do.

Happy because no matter how many times I got knocked down (and there were plenty) I got back up.  Sometimes I limped, was bruised, or totally shell shocked.  Always working on not comparing myself to anyone else.  Hard, very hard.  Battling the thoughts that I'm too old to do this or to be published one day.  Realizing that I just have to do it.  Write my stories, craft my dolls because I have to.  Work my butt off because I have to.  Because those things are a part of me, they make me.  To create is to breathe.  And when I don't, I feel a little ill.  Then I pick up clay, or fabric, or a paintbrush, or pen and paper and get going again.  I've painted, sewn, and written through tears.  Will it happen again?  Probably.  But I will keep going.  If anyone ever tells me that I don't work, I will tell them to try it.  And then eat rat turds.

Now the other side of the coin.  There have been times when I would freak myself out, asking if I should get a job.  Then I ask myself, what jobs?  I still beat up and drag myself over hot coals and mountainous terrain.  But not as often as I had been doing.  Am I still afraid at times?  You betcha.  I am getting stronger because this is my creative journey.  If I don't like one path, I can get on another one.  Am I wealthy?  Nope.  Will I be?  I don't know the answer to that either.  But I will have peace of mind and a sense of accomplishment.  No one can take that away from me.  So I guess in a sense, I am wealthy.  Leaving behind things that will make people smile or think.

Well would you look at that?  Not much to the other side of that coin.  I am very proud of myself.  Of what I've done in one year.  Last year I made a deal with myself to at least try.  The deal is still on because this year will be better.  The Wendy's have pushed their sleeves up.  The game is still on.

Wow!

There are times when you are so fed up with fear, you just have to kick it to the curb.  And when you do, all sorts of creative happy comes.  There are so many things I want to do with my life that I got fed up a few days ago and decided to do something.  I'm back to working on several projects at the same time.  For some reason, I feel better about that.  Some people are good at working on one thing at a time until it's done.  I tried that and, well, it worked for a minute but I felt that I was missing something.  My whole apartment is getting back to looking like one huge studio and it feels good.  I know, I'm so special.

I forgot to mention that I got another doll commission last week.  Yesterday, I snagged a spot at a local art fair that will happen in a week and a half.  I will have some new pieces and I was so excited that I couldn't sleep last night.  I'm kind of dragging today.  I went to pick up some artwork but one of the owners decided to keep everything.  Most excellent.  I've been sketching more new pieces for the upcoming show and the giveaway.  My birthday is next month.  I had asked for some help from the creative muses and they sent the art fair.  Thanks.  I finally got more coffee and some chocolate because I will be burning some midnight oil.

I was able to work on some other projects which had stalled because they weren't working out.  I got back to a sleeveless blouse I had started. It fits but the collar wasn't working out so I put it to the side.  For three weeks.  Seeing that I don't have many items of clothing that fit, why hadn't I finished this piece?  So I took the collar off yesterday and will cut a new one that will fit.  Sometimes commercial patterns are like that and I'm glad I know what to do when that happens.  I'm also glad that I had fabric left to cut a new collar.  I also worked on my second pair of knitted socks and got back to my short stay.  I redid the hand stitched eyelets.  Now I can get the boning in and finish it.  Then I can look for fabric for a gown.  There's an even coming up in July here in town that I would like to go to in costume.

I've been reading a lot of kid books, a writer should read everything they can.  And Halloween is calling.  Right now I'm feeling pretty good.  Excited, which I haven't been in a long time.

I've got this.

No Pictures

I was supposed to do this yesterday but I didn't. So here it is today. Just when I think I'm getting back on my creative track, I get derailed again. Seriously. The life tests continue. I don't think they'll ever go away, they'll just be waiting around a corner, ready to pounce at any time. To keep me on my toes I guess. I think I've got enough character, maybe I don't. I'm still waiting on that big break though and my angels, guardian faeries, and muses are still at the pub.

Monday night is my applique workshop and we had a wonderful storm. Got to my truck and it would not start. It was a good thing my instructor was still in the shop. She was so sweet to wait for road service with me. She was calm and appliqued. I was a wreck because I didn't need this. Yes, my truck is old, being held together with Michigan rust, dirt, dried leaves and cobwebs. It was doing the same thing it did last year when I had to get a new battery. My instructor, bless her heart, said not to worry that it's probably something simple. She doesn't know how old my vehicle is and she does have a husband who can get her to her next destination if need be. It's difficult not to panic when you have to be somewhere the next day and you have no one to call. The road service guy came and gave me a jump. At least I got home and knew I would have to take the truck into the shop the next morning. Whether it started or not.

Not. It did not start. It was pouring and I called road service again. I think it was the same guy from the night before. He got it started and I got it to the car shop. Told the guy that something other than the battery was the problem. I was praying it wasn't the starter. I sat in the waiting area, soaked, and freezing from the AC. It was the connector thingies from the part of the car that goes around parts of the battery to get juice. Yes, there is a technical name for those parts and I forgot what is was. They showed me the parts that were very corroded and I wasn't charged because they put the battery in last year. Whoever put the battery in probably should have changed the defective parts too. But he didn't and that was good for me. While I was there, I did pay for an oil change which I've needed for some time now. Maxwell is now purring like a kitty that's been smoking for awhile but he's working. Yay!

I had to go back home and change clothes. I was chilled to the bone and was an hour late to Olde Mill Eclective. It was my turn to man the shop. I told myself that I was going to have a good day regardless of the vehicle snafu. I was able to work on voodoo doll pins, sketch the monster veggies for the zombie bunners, worked on answers to questions for being Featured Artist-of-the-Month in October, and I started knitting a throw. You can never have enough throws or blankets and I believe we're going to get it this winter.

Maya brought be a Wicked Mocha from one of our local coffee places, Krankie's. Oh my goodness! Friends are great when you're working hard not to fall into a mental hole. It's got three types of chili peppers and local chocolate from Contempo Chocolates. It was so good, I really wanted to lick the inside of the cup. It will be one of those special coffee drinks because it is a bit expensive. But to get one and go walking when the temps really dip would be awesome. I love supporting a local business that supports another local business.

I am back on my creative track, a little more secure right now. Lots of Halloween stuff to finish and more to make. I'm very excited about that. Stay tuned!

Rats!

I have an acquaintance who used to have rats for pets.  I hear they make very good pets.  Well, I will take their word for it.  They are also very intelligent.  My pair of rats are the oh so cuddly type.  I got them from IKEA too.  They are my rat muses.  Maya named them Otis and Mildred.

The grey one is Otis.  He's got big feet.  Mildred is the one in white.  Or the one that is white.  Maybe I should make them winter sweaters.  They are going to be my models.  Won't be able to work on them until next month.  This month is Wandi doll month.