March!

I feel like I've received my marching orders.

Heck! Another month. Three months into a new year. Three months into a new decade. And I still feel behind. Even though I have been working on things, now is the time to really put the pedal to the metal. Step on the gas. Floor it. Time waits for no one and it's flying by. The older I get, the faster it seems to go. What's up with that?

I've been in and out of a weird funk the past two months even though some cool things have been happening and I've been working on being consistent again. Still waging a battle against not thinking what I want to do is important or good enough. Back to wanting to move again. Because things just aren't working out where I am. I can't change the place where I am, so I will have to find my own place. When I was younger, it didn't bother me to move. I was more fit. Now, the body isn't recovering as quickly. I have made that decision to at least attempt to find out a safe, less expensive place to live. A place to create.

I sent in my application to a local doll show. I have about 31 days to finish some pieces and start some new ones. I will have to do it. I have to move. No point in beating that dead horse. I have to make things happen for me. I deserve to at least try for me. So the sorting, giving things away, and packing will commence again. I've got new ideas on my platter. Stoking the fires. Also eating better and doing more exercises. With the way the weather is going to be this week, I may even be able to go for a few walks.

No pics this post. I don't even know if I want to list projects. Maybe I'll do a few.
Dolls:

• finish 8 Prim Dollies
• finish 5 Long Legs
• finish 2 aliens
• finish 2 Franken Babies
• finish 3 Frida Kahlo dolls
• finish 2 Day of the Dead dolls

Other:

• practice embroidery and applique
• finish repairing pants with hexies
• start a new doll series
• edit 2 short stories

31 days. Make it work.

February 2020

Yes, it's been awhile since my last post. Working on finding some kind of balance in this one life I have has been daunting to say the least. Anyway, lots on the table this year. This decade. My knee is getting better from surgery last year. I'm back at the job and I'm looking for a new one. Which is another job. Wish me luck. Working on more exercising and eating better. That will work out when Lent comes. I will be able to focus on what I put in my body. I have finished up some projects and still working on others from last year. The last decade was full of heartache, turmoil, and frustration. So here's to the new decade and year.

So far:

• Submitted two short stories for possible online publication
• Finally tacked down the binding of my Double Irish Chain quilt that I started in 2016
• I've been doing little sketches on a regular basis, will turn some into better drawings
• I've been writing on a regular basis, working on editing a pile of stories
• Got a pin loom and I'm learning how to weave on it. I have other plans for the finished pieces. Don't know if it will work or not for what I have in mind but I've got to start somewhere
• Learning more ways to applique and embroider, also for future projects
• Participating in the art challenge 29 Faces for the month of February

From last year been working on some Frida Kahlo dolls.

Also from last year, Christmas ornaments for co-workers.

I bought myself a Wattle & Loop (out of Australia) embroidery/applique kit. I have lots of ideas but wanted to see their process.

Yes, it's the Year of the Rat. These two were commissioned after I drew and showed one for the front page of my Bullet Journal for January.

The mending of my favorite pair of pants that I've had since forever. Like almost 30 years. Cotton twill and they don't make pants like this anymore. Mending the holes, then covering them with hexies. I will stitch hexies all over the pants. I'm also going to work on one of my favorite sweaters that has seen better days. Going to try not to buy more clothes but get back to making my own.

First four of my 29 Faces.

And my Double Irish Chain quilt.

I have missed blogging. If only to keep my wits about myself. I don't know if anyone will read this. Or if they get anything useful out of this but I will keep going. Life is truly a journey if not a very wacky trip. Have a good rest of the week.

New Thoughts

May hasn't been that good to me. And half the year is almost over. It's been trying. Working in retail during big holidays takes a lot out of a person. But at least, I didn't need bail money. I think that everyone should have to work retail for a year, including holidays. It boggles my mind why people insist on being rude and inconsiderate to others who are truly trying to do their job. I survived Mother's Day. Not really looking forward to Christmas.

And the world continues to turn.

I also had a panic attack yesterday. It wasn't as bad as some I've had in the past but it did scare me. Feeling better now. I've decided that I will forget and forego making things according to what's hot at the moment or what people think I should make that will sell. No more. Life is way too short. Starting today, I will make what makes me happy. Something that might creep me out a little. If others like what I make, great! But I'm making work for me. Work that I was afraid to try. It's time to 'Make It Suck' again.

I have been blessed with a wacky and creative mind. I have the means and know how to pull some things off. If not, I'll learn something new. So if you're still hanging around, thanks. It's time to take some Transformer action. I will be back soon.

Ha!

Just a wee bit late on a new post. It's April. We got fooled a day early by more snow. A very bad joke.

I'm in the last stages of finishing up some pieces for the Toledo Doll Show on Sunday. I'm excited but I've also sold some pieces before the show. Works for me.

Finally got my Long Legs almost done. Sold. I will take them to the show for orders.

Mini witches are almost done too. Working on hats right now or at least after lunch. They turned out better than expected and I don't know if I will make anymore. I do have one and a half bags of stuffing left, so maybe I'll make more to use it up.

Some new things going on in my weird little life. New habits are being established and I've got lots of planning to do this month. The big girl pants are on and it's time to rock a few things. See ya after the show.

Okay Then

I refuse to allow this year to be like last year. Nope, not gonna happen. But I tell you, the past couple of months and this week has been testing me something fierce. I am a human lightning rod and weather forecaster. Because of a childhood injury, I can tell when a storm is coming. So the body was not feeling it Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. Yes, I knew two storms were coming our way. One skirted a little to the south of where I am, the next one was a hit. Okay fine. But I didn't feel any better. Then I woke up Wednesday and heard about that horrible land hurricane. Yes, it looked like a hurricane over land. Slammed the West and it was heading my way. It lost some of the power by the time it got here but the winds were wicked and the thunder and lightning... wow. If this is a sign of future spring storms, we're in for it.

So that went by and I was still feeling miserable. I know Mercury in Retrograde likes to mess things up and I was doing quite well as to see certain triggers and work around them. This was something different. Got online and read about the massive solar storms we were having and were to end today. Seriously? A huge celestial and earthly trifecta of 'LET'S MESS STUFF UP'.

I survived. I'm so glad I wasn't at work, because I probably would've done something very stupid. We still have rain, Mercury is still around, the solar flares are expected to stop today, and I managed to get something worked on. I started my new projects. Making things suck. And I got one apron for the church lady's cut out and wrote in my journal. Not bad for the morning and I'm closing tonight. Co-worker is sick. Whatever.

Here's the first step. I covered Styrofoam halves with Creative Paperclay. They should be dry by tomorrow and I'll do the second step. Not counting on them being anything but I've got to learn how to work with this new medium.

Transition

That word can mean many things to different people. For me it's crossing a river from comfortable place to a very strange and unusual land. A nice, creative one with lots of bright colors. I love color. I love all types of art. Getting a little ahead of myself.

I am transitioning from being one type of artist to another. For the past 30 or so years (jeepers, I'm divulging how many trips I've been around the sun) I've been a traditional cloth doll artist. I'd design a doll, make the pattern, find fabric, cut out the doll, sew it, stuff it, paint the face, and then dress it. I've done everything from cottage industry type things, to limited editions, to one-of-a-kinds. I've made play dolls for both boys and girls and dolls you just put on a shelf and look at how pretty and cool they are. That was way back when fabric was good. Now it's hard to find a fabric that will hold up to what I did to it. Fabric that's the right color for brown dolls, fabric that doesn't feel slippery. Because when I found something that worked, they'd go and change it. And the search would be on again. Then the fabric stores started closing or moving further away.

Now don't get me wrong. I love cloth dolls. I've won ribbons, had one woman art shows; been in galleries and cool little shops; taught classes; been in local newspapers; photos of my dolls have shown up in doll magazines; made dolls, that were a huge part of the story in an independent movie (still on the shelf), the main character was a doll maker; had my dolls in an exhibit in a museum (The Delta Fine Arts Museum); and had an interview on the local public radio station because of that exhibit; have a doll on permanent display in a children's museum; and had my dolls decorate the set of a stage production along with making a doll used in the play. I have done a lot with cloth and I am proud of what I have accomplished with them but now I want to move on.

I couldn't understand how I could still design, sew, and stuff the doll but after that, I lost interest. I wouldn't finish the doll. Why? Well, it's the stuffing part. I've stuffed a lot and oh... the right stuffing I like to use is getting more difficult to find. Why do they have to change formulas? Stuffing takes a lot of time. I love painting the faces and dressing the dolls; putting on the final touches of beads, buttons, or feathers. But once I was done with the stuffing, the dolls just sat. And it was a chore getting back to them. Plus my hands are having a hard time doing that part nowadays. I longed to do dolls or figures that I could pose, put on a stand, in a vignette. Tell a story. I tried porcelain (finicky), needle felting (a lot like stuffing), polymer or oven bake clay (no place to do that now), and air dry clay.

For right now, I've settled on the air dry clay. It's not as portable as cloth but easy to clean up. I can sand the dried piece, drill it, paint it, stain it, whatever. And I have started a couple of pieces. I'm terrified that they won't come out. That no one will like them. So I've decided to just make them for me. Just do it. Learn the new medium. There will be a learning curve and it will take a lot longer if I don't open up the bag of clay. I have so many ideas sketched out. On paper, in sketchbooks, on napkins. It's something SOOOOOO totally different.

But I've given myself permission to 'Make It Suck' and then I'll let others decide if they like it or not. That's what a friend of mine told me to do. Make it Suck. I will wrap up the few cloth dolls that I have waiting to be finished. Then step on the next stone leading to the other side of the river. It's scary but I'm getting excited. Until then, here are some bloomers.

Another One Bites the Dust

I more ways than one. Two years ago I moved back to Michigan. There were many reasons for the move and today I really want to bury them. I do miss the south. I never thought I would say that but I do. Would I move back if I could? In a heartbeat. But that's not going to happen right now. I battled severe depression. Not knowing what I was going to do. Not sure of anything. I kept going, struggling to keep my head above water and I found some work. Last year I got back to doing doll shows. I was able to have my work in a stage production. Travel a bit up north with an old friend and a new one. There were lots of creative stops and starts. Nothing concrete, nothing serious, just going through the motions.

Two years. I keep telling myself that they weren't wasted. That I had to rediscover me again. Figure out what I want to do the rest of whatever number of days I'm given. It's hard. Being nice to me. Figuring out what I want and telling myself that it's okay to go for it. I'm looking for another job. The work that's out there and what I can do don't match up. That is unfortunate and the struggle is real. But I'm in a better place than I was two years ago. I gotta live for me now. Create some kick butt art. Learn how to play an instrument. Sew for me. Make really cool things for me and the people who love me. I'm not done yet. Just heating up.

So today I wrap up February. The first two months of this new year have been quite challenging. But the days are getting longer and spring is coming. I did manage to finish the art challenge 29 Faces. I was determined to do so. Now I've got to put that determination in other creative areas. Cow pies happen. You step in them, they're thrown at you, dumped on your head and you ask the universe, "Really?" But then you can mix those cow pies with mud and make a hut. Paint it with pretty colors and have a garden out front. It's all how you think about things. Here are the rest of my faces.

I will continue to do faces because they are part of a project that I want to do. I will pack up books I'm not using, straighten my work area for projects old and new, draw and paint more, and work on a nice summer wardrobe for me. I started writing down places to go for day trips this spring and summer.

My journey continues.

#29faces

Hello February!

Where do I start? First off, February is going to be my start month for 2019 because January kind of sucked. It was very weird, starting day one. I came into contact of 2 Debbie Downers and from there, everything just went downhill. I didn't produce much of anything. I was in a void and I didn't know what was going on. I blame all the lunar events that were happening. Blood Moon, Wolf Moon, eclipse, and then to top it off with the Polar Vortex thing... UGH! And so many friends and acquaintances also suffering from creative stagnation and just being ill. Things breaking down. Like I said, January sucketh.

But now it's February. A new month. A short month. I'm feeling better but I'm a bit afraid to do so. I've got plans. I've decided to go all out to make totally different things. I will still do cloth dolls but a different variety of cloth dolls. I'll explain in the future. I'm truly going to give myself permission to make whatever the heck I want. If people like it, great. If not, that's okay too but the little monsters are crowding my tiny brain. Yesterday, I started some new pieces. I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't have the right materials for one group and used what I had. Really going to have to improvise a bit and that's okay too. Stop stressing and overthinking and just make something. You know.

Two different groups going on in the top photo. I have an idea and they're works in progress. The goal is to have them done by the end of the month. And that's Boris in the back with his nifty red and white scarf on.

I want to participate in the art challenge 29 Faces this month too. I've been practicing last month on the refrigerator calendar. I think I will try more male faces. I do need to practice those.

So I'm off to a start of a very busy month. A creative month. Because spring is coming. I know we have to get through February and March (we could get more snow) but spring will eventually get here.

Well, well...

Here I am again. Another month has gotten the best of me. First off, the weather went from this...

to this...

in 2.5 seconds. Michigan time. Yep, I didn't get a proper fall this year. I guess that's a thing of the past now. I'm glad I have some fond memories of how a fall used to be. Beautiful colors on the trees, crunching on the dry leaves on my way to school. Nice cool temps so you could have a window open for a couple of weeks after summer. Chilly for Halloween, a little snow for Thanksgiving, and then winter. And winter was after Indian Summer (which may not be politically correct these days), a time after a frost and then a week of warm temps. Nope, nada, it's gone forever. Now it's winter and daylight is short. Winter isn't official until December 21st but it's here. The only thing to do is deal with it and soon there will be fires in the fireplace.

November got away from me. Yes, I had some plans. I did do a doll show, it was okay. Made a little money and got some new contacts. I always like talking to the other vendors. I got sick. Oh boy did I get sick. Not flu sick but a really bad sinus infection. Usually I could kick it with an over-the-counter medication but not this time. I was having vertigo with this bad boy. I had to go to Urgent Care. I got a shot in the rear end so I could get some relief and antibiotics for ten days. I'm feeling loads better but then I had to take my truck back to the shop. And I didn't finish NaNoWrimo. Ugh! When it rains, it pours fish and frogs. Tackled again by the universe. But...

I'm back up. Still hanging in there. Looking for the silver lining of a whole lot of storm clouds.  This month got away from me. But a  new one starts tomorrow.

Happy Halloween!

Oh no! October has whizzed on by. I had a health relapse but had enough energy to take a selfie. Which I don't like taking.

I'm trying to take it easy for the trick or treaters tonight. I'm so glad it stopped raining. Right now the sun is out and not too cold. So maybe, just maybe, the kids will have a nice time this evening. The sickness has set me back once again. I guess that's a part of life. I just want my head to stop hurting and not feel so tired. Plans for November are underway though. I think I'll first take a short nap.

Have fun and be safe tonight.

Life

Now I can see why there isn't a manual on it. I can say it's never dull. Just when I was thinking I was at least on an even keel, here comes a boulder. I was diagnosed with Lyme's Disease and if that wasn't enough to wreck a day, my truck is back in the shop. I know it's getting old but I need it to hang in there for at least another year or two. Maxwell, my truck, is 20 years old with over 220,000 miles on him. Yes, I wanted to cry. And I had to spend money on a car rental so that I can get to work for money that is no longer mine. Ack!

So I got up, wiped away chunks of stone and dust, pulled my pants back up and kept moving. So last weekend I was a vendor at a doll show in Wilmington, Ohio. It was about 4.5 hours away, so my mother (who went with) said we should stay at the hotel. Fine. It wasn't my best show, or my worst and I did sell some things. What was really weird was that the hotel we stayed in was recently remodeled and the walls were like paper. Our neighbors were so loud and they had their TV on loud. So what did I do? I found a slasher movie on the ScyFy channel and turned up the volume. Childish, maybe but it was quite satisfying. The next morning, they started in at each other around 5 AM. Ugh! He was yelling at her about breakfast. What did she want? They have bacon and eggs. She yelled that she didn't want the bacon and eggs. He yelled that they have sausage and biscuits with gravy. She yelled back that she didn't want bacon and eggs. He yelled, no, what about sausage and biscuits with gravy. You would think they were on opposite ends of the hotel but they were in one room. I was about ready to yell, I'll take the bloody bacon and eggs. I got up. Geesh!

I was supposed to be up at the front of the show but got put into a back corner. When people came to my table, they commented on it and I told them that I was incorrigible, or I got sent to the principal's office, or that I was just the odd one. I was fine with it, I made them laugh, and I still sold some things being in the back.

There were so many cool things to see at the show. I really like dollhouses and room boxes. One day I will have one. These are by Judy Rankine and she even has tutorials on her Facebook page.

And there were some nice antique miniature dolls to go into a dollhouse. I was keen on those from the 1920s.

I love the stripe dress.

I even saw a real Izannah Walker doll. She was beautiful.

I got back home and unpacked everything. My inventory is way down. I sat and thought about if I wanted the Wilmington show to be my last for the year. I ask myself why, because there's another show coming up. Do it... do iiiitttt. So I contacted the organizer and asked if she had any tables left and she said yes. I'm doing the Doll & Teddy Bear show in Toledo, Oh. Lots closer and I can drive it in the same day. Why not? I make dolls, I want to get back into that circuit, and Christmas is coming up. So what, I have five weeks to get new dolls made. I can do it. This is my calling. Or at least one of them. Life is short, so take a chance. I don't know if I will get my Halloween costume done this year but that's okay. There's always next year.

Until next time.

No Pic Post

Yes,  a no pic post. Sorry about that. Last week was horrendous. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. I didn't know of K. Spade but she was my age. I wasn't a Bourdain fan but started watching his programs again. His death was a shock. Then two days after his passing, a friend of twenty years died. I didn't even know she had been in the hospital. She drank herself to death. There were many days I cried last week and the weekend. So many talented people checking out. I was not in a very good place so I called a good friend. I woke her up. I apologized but so much was going on in my head, I needed her to listen. And she did. We were both laughing after an hour. It gave me time to look at things in a different perspective.

So....

Today, back to my mother's to continue clearing out my stuff. Geesh! I've got a lot of stuff. I found quite a few porcelain dolls I made years ago. And they were big dolls. I'm not into porcelain dolls much these days; I will keep a few but will probably take apart the others and sell as kits. Looking at the craftsmanship, I worked my little fingers off. But they've got to go. I found my first doll I saved up my allowance to get. I was maybe like twelve. Gonna keep her. And my Madame Alexander dolls. That's going way back. I even have a Hulk Hogan doll when I was way into wrestling when it was the WWF, World Wrestling Federation. One big bag of trash, brought back some fabric for my new witches, stacked more boxes to break down, started going through my old file cabinet (stuff should have been shredded ages ago), and mom gave me food. That is always a good thing. I also got a lot of my hair chopped off. No fuss summer hair. If I can get a decent pic I'll post it.

The month of my birthday and I won't be doing much because I forgot I had to get new vehicle tags. I did the last payment on a huge bill, so I'm thrilled about that but my birthday gift to me will have to wait until next month. For this new week I will finish my voodoo doll pins, get clothes on my witches, finish up some pen & ink drawings, and do a doll for someone else. That's it for now. Have a good evening.

June, June, June

I kind of don't know what to expect this month.  I have a couple of things I need to get done. Which I'm kind of dreading. But if I put my nose to the grindstone I will get them done and out of my hair. Speaking of hair, my hair isn't doing anything right at the moment. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or diet, or what but I'm thinking of cutting it all off and starting over. I just don't want to deal with it right now. Had a yard sale yesterday. I won't be taking a cruise anytime soon. Ha! Everyone was saying, "You don't have what I'm looking for." Seriously? Okay, why say anything at all? Just look and go. And the weather has been kooky. We went from winter to a quick spring, winter, summer, and fall. Yeah Mother Nature, you're drunk. At least now the sun is out. I guess all I can say is, "Whatever." Can't control it and I'm in Michigan. Wait a few minutes and the weather will change. Like it or not.

So tomorrow will be a trip to Salvation Army to donate things that didn't go yesterday. I just want it out of the place. I ca't use it, maybe someone else can. For the rest of the month, I will continue to downsize and clear out my mother's place. What fun.

The plan is to get back to creating. Anything. I've started out with my front page for June in my Bullet Journal. I like these little creatures and will continue to work on them. I'm going to have to straighten the dungeon so I can get back to work. At least I got the tables that I used in the yard sale back up again. See ya.

Next!

Okay then. May kind of sucked. I didn't accomplish as much as I'd wanted to. Getting passed over for a position on the job was disappointing and it sent me down into a hole. I've dragged myself out and now it's a new month. I do have to say this about me, I don't give up. I can receive a 'Hulk' type beat down but will get back up again. That's the thing about life. It's not dull, always challenging. Even when you think you can't handle anymore. There are times when you just want to say, "Watch me."

So I take a deep breathe. Well... a couple. Or several. I drink my coffee and look at the green stuff out the window. I am alive. I am fairly healthy. I have a safe place to stay. And I have a little job that does not define who I am.

I'll keep going. Try this again. It's a new month. My birthday month. Summer has come early. I really wish we'd had a real spring. I miss those. Now it's hot with the AC on. Halloween is 152 days away and I'm so looking forward to it. Until then, there is June. See ya soon. Oh, and if you're viewing this from overseas can you please leave a comment and let me know if you see the cookie notification? Thanks.

Oh Life...

Sure. Right when you think things are starting to go a little bit better you trip over a pebble, get a water balloon to the head, and Thor's hammer to the gut. But hey! You get up and keep moving right? So look, no arms!

My latest batch of voodoo doll pins. Some are for an order. The rest will be for sale. They will be done this week. I still have crazy witches staring at me, waiting for their bloomers and dresses. Continuing to rebuild. See ya soon.

It's Spring!

Yep, I think it's finally here. Had the first huge spring storm early this morning. Woke me up. Thunder, lightning, heavy rains, and high winds. Had my window open for a bit and boy did it smell good. Fresh. But then I had to close the window because it was doing a slanting rain thing and I didn't want a sopping wet windowsill. It's overcast this morning but that's okay because it's spring. When I left the other job last night, I couldn't believe I was walking out without a coat on. So here is a pic of the tree in the backyard. I think I will document it through the four seasons. Spring.

I'll be working on some dolls today. That show in October will get here very fast. Have a lovely day everyone.

Hello May

I do hope that spring has finally sprung around here. I don't know about you but everyone is a wee bit cranky and we need more sun. I found a little bit of hope outside.

I've been back in Michigan a little over a year now. I started a new book and now it's time for the next chapter. How am I feeling? Right now, a bit tired after paying bills, house cleaning, putting away food, checking emails, filling out a show application, taking out the trash, and trying to figure out this month in my Bullet Journal. The morning is gone but I do have the afternoon and some of the evening to do something creative.

Do something creative. Yeah... after getting lots of tips from some amazing doll artists, buying some fresh Creative Paper Clay, and printing off a tutorial, I'm ready to start some new dolls. Terrified? Of course, but I just sent in money for a table at a doll show in October so I best to get crackin'. I intend on posting more often too. If the sun is shining where you are, enjoy. I'll see ya in a bit.

Is it April?

I know things happen. It's called life. It's how you bob and weave, roll with the punches, take a dive into something new and fall into a pile of very large and very soft cotton balls or slam into a concrete slab. You get where I'm coming from. No matter what plans you have, or goals, or deals with psychic bumble bees, there is a little imp or pixie or freaking faerie waiting in the shadows to throw things at you. Anything from the size of pebbles to... I don't know... boulders.

I thought that this was going to be a decent month. Ha, ha, haaaaa. Yeah. I have to remind myself to look at the nice and good things that have happened and not have the weird, 'you've got to be kidding me' stuff take over my thoughts.

Right now I am waiting for the Bug Guy to get here. His window is 9 AM to 11 AM. Because he's new on the route, he probably won't get here until 10:45. I won't be able to go work in the dungeon because I won't be able to hear the doorbell. So what's a gal to do? I searched high and low for some fabric to make some new bedroom curtains. Nothing complicated, just something to keep the extra light out. Street light, moonlight. That sort of thing. The piece I was looking for took about ten minutes to find. It was pretty. But would work better as part of my table cover for my next show. Drats! I continued looking. Found something nice but not enough yardage, then something nice but would look better as aprons. This was not going well and I was tearing up things I'd already straightened. I finally found something that will work. The stripes may not go in the direction I think they should but no one but me will see the bloody curtains. Today, I will make curtains. If it's the only creative thing I do.

April has been screwy. One big fool joke. Where the heck is spring? We got up to 60 degrees early on and then snow, rain, high winds, snow, icy mix, then a melt, and more snow. Today it's supposed to be in the 50s. Of course I feel sorry for all the migrating birds right now. I'm sure they are way confused and possibly starving. The neighborhood heron and egret have returned. The birdsong has changed. And a herd of six deer ran through the yard. Please, no more snow. Not only has it screwed things up for the birds, it's screwed things up for me. I'm off my days again. One week I thought it was Friday for the whole week. This week I thought yesterday was Friday. What do I wear? I know about layers but that's getting old. I've had a doll show, a funeral, and I've been given more responsibility at the other job. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one. I was exhausted after the funeral. I had three days off from the other job. Sort of. I did laundry, caught up on paperwork, paid bills, cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed the whole house. Then I sat and read. That's it. Part of my brain was yelling at me that I should be doing something. But I needed that time to regroup.

Regroup. I was working on new dolls for the show but the design wasn't sitting right with me. Yes, I messed up some fabric (I don't have a lot of it for skin tones), and stuffing, and time. I began the usual of beating myself up but the dolls weren't working. So this morning, I started to take them apart and unstuff them. Along with wash fabric for the curtains.

Breathe. I will unstuff while waiting for Mr. Bug Man. Then to the other job. I will make curtains today. See ya!

I'm Back!

Grab your favorite beverage and take a seat because this is a long one.

Oh my gosh! It has been awhile since I've last posted. Life is very strange. You really do have to go with the flow, take on the waves, watch for those potholes... I could go on but you know what I mean. I've had my year anniversary being back in Michigan. Yeah... it's starting to come together but then again, the universe has a very strange sense of humor. Lets' see, where to begin.

1. I am going to be in a doll show next month, which is a week away. At first I was about to panic but then I asked myself why? It's not my first rodeo, I just haven't been on the circuit in awhile. But it's the beginning of some really cool adventures.  http://www.toledodollshow.com/index.html
2. For the show I'd been working on some new doll designs. The first one didn't work out and weird wendy told me to just stop. I did for awhile but it wasn't getting me anywhere, so I picked up my sketchbook and worked on a new design. After wasting a couple of weeks. I did beat myself up over that but wonderful wendy talked me off that ledge. And I think I have a better design. I may not have many pieces of this new design for the show but I'm okay with that. There will be more shows.
3. I have so many creative ideas floating around in my head. Surfing. Snowboarding and they can't wait until the show is done so I can get to them.
4. While I was going through things I brought from down south (yes, my third or fourth downsizing), I found a notebook where I had written down everything I had created and made. From dolls, to paintings, commissions, everything. In four years, I had created close to 300 pieces of work. I did start to cry. What happened to that creative juggernaut? I wanted her back. Then I saw a video with Lisa Nichols who was having a similar problem of doing what she wanted to do but was still depressed. She didn't want to go on medication so she needed to figure out what her problem was. Everything that she was doing was rote, she had forgotten how she used to be excited by what she wanted to do. At that point a light bulb turned on over my head. My creative juggernaut didn't disappear, it has always been there with me. I'd forgotten about her. I pushed her to the back burner, then the next room, eventually out of the house when other things in life started to happen and get me down. So now, everyday, I work on remembering that really cool and creative lady and I do one thing each day that makes me happy. I've picked up knitting again.
5. I am relearning that I am good enough. That my ideas matter because they came from me. That I am loved by friends and family and I don't have to do anything to prove that. I like me. I love me and I have some really cool things to say and tons of art I want to do. And I have to remind myself that I don't have to stay around negative Nellies whether they are family or not.
6. I know what I need to nurture my creative soul. There will be many day trips this spring and summer. More museum visits. I think there's even a bird watching group in this area. I didn't always like birds but we need them in our environment.
7. I finally renewed my passport. Yee haw! I have no idea when I'll be able to go anywhere but if the opportunity came up, I'm ready. I have started a travel fund. First place on the list is Scotland. Even if that's the only place of great distance I go for the rest of my life. That is the place.
8. Just when I thought I was getting finances under control. Paid off four new tires and working on my new glasses. I thought, oh yeah, I'll be able to save a bit more money. Ha! That universe, I tell ya, said no. My phone died. It wouldn't hold a charge, I'd get dropped calls, phone conversations would get cut off at 60% battery charge. Could not use any apps, not that I do games or anything like that. Couldn't take a photo or post it on Instagram or send it so I could use them here or on Facebook. A true nightmare. And with the doll show coming up, I wouldn't be able to use my credit card reader. So I got a new phone. A Google Pixel 2 XL. On special, got some money from turning in my old phone, and it's very purty. Still trying to figure out all the bells and whistles but it takes nice pics. And it's not cutting off on me. And it stays charged for the whole day. I am so excited. Yes, I spent more money but in order to conduct future business, I needed a new phone. I also don't fancy being stranded on the highway with no way to contact anyone.
9. I'm still working on the patience thing. No matter what, I will work on this year to be a good one.
10. Here's my first pic with my new phone. It's of my new light box I got for me for last Christmas. I love it. 
    

So that's my long update folks. Just haven't been posting because of phone issues but now that has been solved, expect to hear more from me. Have a great day!

Early

For once I'm ahead of schedule with something. The March front page for my Bullet Journal. Yeah, I had to put bats in.

More downsizing and repacking things I'm not using and tossing things that are old or broken. Rearranged several plastic drawers. And they are labeled.