Snow!

I'm hanging in there. It's been and emotional roller coaster the past several days since I was laid off. Fear, dread, anger, frustration, sadness, depression... I could go on. I have cried a lot and it's a struggle to find a creative happy place. So I joined an online art challenge of sorts. 100 dogs. Hosted by Jennifer Steck. https://jennifersteck.com/ or on Instagram under JenniferSteckArts. Her style is very whimsical and it's something I've never done. So far, I'm enjoying it and have to catch up. I've got 21 crazy dogs.

I know it's supposed to be spring but we got snow early this week. I didn't know whether to feel sorry for my visitors or not. I wanted to ask them if they were Census workers or plague doctors.

I'm going to continue to look for online work and do something creative. I hope you all have a pleasant day too.

Transition

That word can mean many things to different people. For me it's crossing a river from comfortable place to a very strange and unusual land. A nice, creative one with lots of bright colors. I love color. I love all types of art. Getting a little ahead of myself.

I am transitioning from being one type of artist to another. For the past 30 or so years (jeepers, I'm divulging how many trips I've been around the sun) I've been a traditional cloth doll artist. I'd design a doll, make the pattern, find fabric, cut out the doll, sew it, stuff it, paint the face, and then dress it. I've done everything from cottage industry type things, to limited editions, to one-of-a-kinds. I've made play dolls for both boys and girls and dolls you just put on a shelf and look at how pretty and cool they are. That was way back when fabric was good. Now it's hard to find a fabric that will hold up to what I did to it. Fabric that's the right color for brown dolls, fabric that doesn't feel slippery. Because when I found something that worked, they'd go and change it. And the search would be on again. Then the fabric stores started closing or moving further away.

Now don't get me wrong. I love cloth dolls. I've won ribbons, had one woman art shows; been in galleries and cool little shops; taught classes; been in local newspapers; photos of my dolls have shown up in doll magazines; made dolls, that were a huge part of the story in an independent movie (still on the shelf), the main character was a doll maker; had my dolls in an exhibit in a museum (The Delta Fine Arts Museum); and had an interview on the local public radio station because of that exhibit; have a doll on permanent display in a children's museum; and had my dolls decorate the set of a stage production along with making a doll used in the play. I have done a lot with cloth and I am proud of what I have accomplished with them but now I want to move on.

I couldn't understand how I could still design, sew, and stuff the doll but after that, I lost interest. I wouldn't finish the doll. Why? Well, it's the stuffing part. I've stuffed a lot and oh... the right stuffing I like to use is getting more difficult to find. Why do they have to change formulas? Stuffing takes a lot of time. I love painting the faces and dressing the dolls; putting on the final touches of beads, buttons, or feathers. But once I was done with the stuffing, the dolls just sat. And it was a chore getting back to them. Plus my hands are having a hard time doing that part nowadays. I longed to do dolls or figures that I could pose, put on a stand, in a vignette. Tell a story. I tried porcelain (finicky), needle felting (a lot like stuffing), polymer or oven bake clay (no place to do that now), and air dry clay.

For right now, I've settled on the air dry clay. It's not as portable as cloth but easy to clean up. I can sand the dried piece, drill it, paint it, stain it, whatever. And I have started a couple of pieces. I'm terrified that they won't come out. That no one will like them. So I've decided to just make them for me. Just do it. Learn the new medium. There will be a learning curve and it will take a lot longer if I don't open up the bag of clay. I have so many ideas sketched out. On paper, in sketchbooks, on napkins. It's something SOOOOOO totally different.

But I've given myself permission to 'Make It Suck' and then I'll let others decide if they like it or not. That's what a friend of mine told me to do. Make it Suck. I will wrap up the few cloth dolls that I have waiting to be finished. Then step on the next stone leading to the other side of the river. It's scary but I'm getting excited. Until then, here are some bloomers.

Hello February!

Where do I start? First off, February is going to be my start month for 2019 because January kind of sucked. It was very weird, starting day one. I came into contact of 2 Debbie Downers and from there, everything just went downhill. I didn't produce much of anything. I was in a void and I didn't know what was going on. I blame all the lunar events that were happening. Blood Moon, Wolf Moon, eclipse, and then to top it off with the Polar Vortex thing... UGH! And so many friends and acquaintances also suffering from creative stagnation and just being ill. Things breaking down. Like I said, January sucketh.

But now it's February. A new month. A short month. I'm feeling better but I'm a bit afraid to do so. I've got plans. I've decided to go all out to make totally different things. I will still do cloth dolls but a different variety of cloth dolls. I'll explain in the future. I'm truly going to give myself permission to make whatever the heck I want. If people like it, great. If not, that's okay too but the little monsters are crowding my tiny brain. Yesterday, I started some new pieces. I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't have the right materials for one group and used what I had. Really going to have to improvise a bit and that's okay too. Stop stressing and overthinking and just make something. You know.

Two different groups going on in the top photo. I have an idea and they're works in progress. The goal is to have them done by the end of the month. And that's Boris in the back with his nifty red and white scarf on.

I want to participate in the art challenge 29 Faces this month too. I've been practicing last month on the refrigerator calendar. I think I will try more male faces. I do need to practice those.

So I'm off to a start of a very busy month. A creative month. Because spring is coming. I know we have to get through February and March (we could get more snow) but spring will eventually get here.

December

Yay!

Maybe. It was gorgeous yesterday at a marvelous 53 degrees. The sun was out, people were smiling. Then it started to rain and then we got snow. That was a pretty good fake out. I mean, it's winter. As they say in probably every state, don't like the weather, wait a few minutes.

Anyway, I've a pretty good creative list for the month. Which I've started. I have to finish a doll before Christmas. So far, so good.

She will get stuffed tonight. I am late on having my front page for my Bullet Journal done, but that's nothing new. It is sketched, I just have to color it. It does make me smile though. I'll show it to you tomorrow.

Hello November

Isn't great how time just keeps marching on whether you're in step or not? And here we are. November. We have two more months of this year left. But because Samhain happened last night and is the start of a New Year for some, I'm going to do that. Start a new year with new things (because I can) and get another rough draft of a novel done for NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words for the month of November. I made it last year and I will make it this year. The difference this year is that I will continue to refine and edit a draft and see where that takes me. As usual there's lots to do this month. I have one more doll show to do and that one is in Toledo, OH on November 18th. More on that later. And because my stock is way down, I will be doing more sewing to get it up again and ready for the show.

Last month there were so many drawing challenges. Inktober being one of them. I started it but didn't finish. I did manage a few drawings on the calendar on the refrigerator. My roommate did three of them.

It was fun keeping up with that. She would leave suggestions for me and I would think about it for a day and then draw it. Got keep going with the sketch/drawing thing. That's my update. Gotta get some words written. Have a nice evening.

A Rambling No Pic Post - September

Eegads! Gazooks! Heck!

It's September y'all. A brand new month. We're in the third quarter of the year. The older I get, time just doesn't seem to like me anymore. But that's okay. I'm tough. Most of the time. I'm in a 'Never give up, never surrender' mode. I think. I did say this was rambling. So many disasters happening around the country right now. I say my prayers, send goddess vibes, and do what I can to make things a little bit brighter. Because right now, that's all I've got. Smile at a total stranger when I'm out and about. Wave greetings to people. Call a friend I haven't spoken to in years to just hear their voice because time goes on.

I am here in Michigan. I've come to the conclusion that I will be here for awhile and things will be okay. My Tribe is a good size and they believe in me. I'm ready to start believing in me... again. And I will continue to do so because life can throw some nasty things at you. Two more months until that wonderful time of the year. Halloween. Already leaves are changing colors overnight. The temps are staying south of 80, way south most days. We'll probably get and Indian summer in October. Or maybe not. But I'm ready for my first northern winter in eleven years.

So what's on the docket for the month? First I'm finishing up some doll dresses for another artist. I'm almost done with a witch doll and Raggedy Ann just needs a new dress. I will be participating in 29 Faces this month and get going on some new witches and Halloween things. I rewrote a draft to a mid-grade story that just wasn't working out. One more short story is ready for another draft. And a friend has invited up north to her dad's cabin. By a lake. Ha! That's so Halloween. I'll let you know how that goes. At first nothing was really going on in my life. Now, I'm out to change that, so expect a few more posts than usual. And I've got to make something for Halloween. I've been invited to a party. Hang in there peeps. I am.

It's July!

Wow! That was fast. I added another day of celebrating for the birthday. I went to a cool fabric store with a friend and then she took me to lunch. And then there was the holiday, July 4th, and I just kind of chilled out. Now I'm getting back to business. I had a nice time off to enjoy and reflect the rest of the year. Because, the year is officially halfway over. The days are getting shorter. Eegads! So here are a few things I've done the past week or so. Some new forest folks based on an alpaca wearing a leather bomber jacket. It was on a greeting card. Which I can't seem to find. Moving sucks.

I did a few more sketches but it doesn't seem like I took pics. Will rectify that shortly and put in my next post. I will be working on my Raggedy Ann doll and get some doll pins painted. The next holiday (so-to-speak) is in September.

April!

It's April!

A new month. Another start or continuation of the previous month. At this point, I don't know yet. I've been back up north for a little over a month now and I guess I can say I've settled in. I am here for awhile and will deal with it. It's time to put the blankie and bear to the side and get back to work. I'm still learning my way around; I know that will take some time to get used to but I'm glad the weather is getting better.

So... for a new location and month, I've decided to try a new look for the blog. I don't know if I like it or not, but I will give it some time. I love the color of the background.

I'm still working on organizing my work space. It's starting to look like a studio. My studio. I'm trying very hard not to get hung up on not having some things at my disposal that will prevent me from creating. I tell you, moving just takes so much out of you and to get back into the groove of things is difficult. I'd rather sit on a beach. The pic below is of a plastic container full of ribbon and other trims. Yeah. They were separated into shoe box size bins but when I moved, I toss the contents into a box so that I could stack the plastic boxes. When I got to Michigan, I tossed them into this bin so I could break down the cardboard box for recycling. I continue to arrange some of my fabric and needed the container for it, so I finally went through this container and organized my ribbons and trims.

Now they are in their collective boxes, labeled, and everything is nice and neat.

And I also set up my sewing machine. No more excuses. I have a table to sew on, one to do wet things on and one to draw, paint, or finish things on. And I have more room to work with. That will come later. I'm also trying to figure out how to put plans, designs, and posters or paintings on the walls without damaging them. This isn't my place but as an artist, I need some inspiration. Stay tuned.

I have some goals for the month and quite a few deadlines. I never really had any, I just made things but now I want to be a bit more prolific so I've got to have some end dates. I did finish my first draft of a short story four days ahead of time last month, got my second Redwork practice piece done, designed some new work/dolls, and got back to reading. Last year I read about 40 plus novels. This year I want to add in some regular fiction and non-fiction. I've always liked to read and I'm glad I'm rediscovering that. There's so much out there. I also have to catch up on the movie challenge I'm participating in. I'm a bit behind but if I can get my goals met this week, I'll be able to binge watch some movies on Sunday. So I'm off until next time.

Have a grand day!

September

Yes, it's September. A new month. Not even through with the first day when i get news that my apartment rent will go up by 30 bucks. I didn't take it well at first but I guess everyone has to make money. It did take me a couple of hours to think about and reevaluate things and I'm still here.

I've decided to be positive because we all know that stuff happens to throw you off your course. I have a new plan and will make it work because I believe that it will get me out of my present situation. I still have a few hours in this first day of the new month and instead of sitting around thinking that nothing is working out. Which is very easy to do. I will take action to get to where I want. Forget naysayers, namely me, and forge ahead. Become a bull in a china shop. It's my life. I want to live it well. First I believe. Second, I take action. Everyday. And once in awhile reward myself. I like this quote from Anthony Robbins.

Today is not like yesterday.

And tomorrow will be different forever.

I will keep going. A bit more focused now. And I will be a bit more nicer to me. I keep forgetting to do that.

May - Day 2, Not Bad

Yep, they keep ending faster and faster. Last month wasn't that bad. Each month gets better than the previous one, so I'm grateful for that. I'm really going to push the envelope for May. There is this saying hanging up in the break room where my studio is. I'm going to read it a lot.

It was a good day today. I got all April receipts together and tallied up, loaded an appliqued wall hanging onto the longarm for some custom work, made a doll dress, made a pattern for a cloth ornament, and started nine mug rugs. Not a bad start for the first day of a new month. More pics are coming.

No Pic Post

Yes, a no pic post. Why? Why not? It's something that I've been feeling and thinking since my anniversary last week. I don't know what has happened. My attitude has changed a bit. At least towards what I want to do with myself. I just hope that it doesn't take another ten years to see some results.

The day after my anniversary, I felt as if I could do anything. And what I really wanted to do was to get back to creating dolls and Halloween pieces. Like I was going to explode. I was on creative overdrive. Even though I had quilts to longarm, this energy was oozing out of me. Kind of crazy. I like this new way of doing applique and I'm ready to get going on my own designs. I was amazed that I was excited again. A part of my tiny brain said it wasn't going to last. I pushed that thought out and into a dump. I will not question it. Whatever 'it' is. I feel like I've been reborn. I was searching for that dynamo of creativeness for such a long time and I may have found her.

Now for the true test. I've discovered that I need to find time to nurture the new creative me. I can't work on anything wet at the studio so I will have to do it in my apartment. Wet meaning paint, clay, paper mache, that type of thing. I will now start taking one or two days out of the week to work in those mediums. Another thing is to finally go through my ideas and pick one thing to work on. That will happen today. It's a good day. Nice and cloudy and rainy. A good day to get tucked in on a new project.

Stay tuned!

April

It's April. A new month. It's spring. Things are blossoming. The temperatures are still figuring out whether to stay a constant warm or go back to winter. The birdsong outside my window in the morning has changed. Migrating birds have come back. The local farmer's market will start up again for the summer season as well as all sorts of festivals. Part of me wants to blab about all what I want to do. But the other part wants to stay quiet and see if I can do it. I turned the page on my calendar. It's so blank. I use it to write down what I've accomplished, worked on, or finished. It's so blank.

But pretty soon it will start to fill up. I will continue my writing. I won't give up on that. I will continue sketching bears because they are part of a larger project. I will be working on Halloween inventory for an upcoming art/craft show or two. I'm still planning on reopening my Etsy shop. Some things are still up in the air. Others are in planning stages. I lost my focus last month and will work towards getting it back this month. One weird month out of three is okay. It's spring. And it's time for new things. I'm ready for new things. I may have to put my big girl undies on and actually go out and do things on my own. I think I will make a sort of bucket list for my state. Things I want to do and places to go, not necessarily before I die but because I want to and they are around. I've got to come up with another title for that list.

Okay then. April, here I come.

A Breakthrough... Maybe

I haven't been creating much of anything in the past couple of years. I have been quilting but that's my new business. I haven't been designing or making any new dolls or Halloween pieces. Even though I've been doodling ideas, nothing has come to being. I asked myself why? What was I doing or not doing that stopped my producing artwork? I know I had a creative block a few years ago and knew why but this was something different. I looked at my art/craft friends on Facebook to see what they were doing because they were producing work. Whether they made art as their main business or as a second business, they were getting things done. I found that they not only had ideas, but sketches. Those sketches obviously gave them a springboard to do the final piece, whether the final piece looked like the sketch or not. And that was my problem.

I have goo gobs of ideas, some sketched on tiny pieces of paper. I had begun to group them together and got down to three piles. And that was as far as I got. I didn't separate them into groups such as dolls, busts, ornaments. I didn't make anymore detailed sketches so that I would absolutely know what I was thinking about doing. So for the next week, I will separate and arrange my mini sketches into group ideas. I will then pick ones that I can develop and sketched them out more. Then I can finally get down to work and make something. And I made a deadline. I will reopen my Etsy shop March 1. Period, the end. Wish me luck.

I have been doing some snail mail art. I had promised some people letters and they are finally getting them. This is my second batch.

It was fun doing them. After pulling out a few teeth to just get started. Hopefully we won't get anymore snow for a couple of weeks. I'll head back into the studio tomorrow. Have a good week!

Lists

Today is list day. Yes, I'm a lister. I make lists. There was a short period of time when I didn't make lists and I was so confused and got absolutely nothing done. Some people don't need to make lists. I'm not one of them. Even if I don't get to everything on the list, I have something to work from. I have these lists:

• things to buy for the apartment and studio which I keep in my purse for when I'm out and about
• one for business quilts
• one for non-business quilts and quilting projects
• stories to work on
• projects to start
• ideas to promote my longarm business
• posts to write

Some lists are detailed. Big projects are broken down into smaller steps so that I won't feel overwhelmed and not think that I can get things done. There's a list for the whole month and if I think about it, one for each week. Sometimes I get through them all, sometimes I don't. But when I do feel overwhelmed, I close my eyes and point to something on a list and that's what I work on. Even if it's for only ten minutes.

Friday the 13th- No pic post

It's Friday the 13th. I love Friday the 13th. My mom was born on a 13th and I love it when her birthday falls on one. I am not superstitious in that way. It's another day that I've been given. And I'm going to start a new chapter in my life book. I've started a new business that's slowly growing. Please check it out at http://wendybquilts.blogspot.com

The new chapter is to get back to writing. A few years ago, I was writing like gangbusters. The words were flying out of me and onto blank pages. I was getting things done. Kid stories, Sci/Fi stories, mysteries, women's stories, fantasies. It was amazing. Then something happened. I guess it was a gradual thing, or not. Can't remember but I lost my zest for writing. I had begun to read so many negative things about women writers, writers of color, who would read my work, who would buy my work, I'm too old, and it went on and on and I stopped. Instead of finishing what I had started. A great body of work, I turned into a chicken and went back into the coop. I filed everything away. And worried.

Well...

I want my 'Eye of The Tiger' back. I thought that the stories would go away if I didn't look at them. The characters I created. They didn't go away. They stayed. They were silent but they were always around. They worried about me. Some cried and wondered about their fate. I ignored them. Others stayed by my side and waited. I neglected them. Then they went away, except one. She hung out. In a corner. While I cooked my meals. She bounced around and tried to make me laugh. She was oh so patient. One by one, the others came back. Talking to each other. Waiting their turn to be born.

Writing is hard work. Editing it to the point so someone else can understand it is even harder. But I have something to say. I have characters to put out there. I may not be a Bestseller, but someone will read my work and I hope that it touches them in a powerful way, make them laugh, cry, think about good things. The way my stories and those that inhabit them have touched me. I have apologized to them. I have apologized to myself for almost giving up. I'm still a bit scared about this whole process but they are all smiling now.

Let's cook!

Happy Monday

Yes, it is another Monday. I've been working very hard on my new business venture, my longarm quilting service and making quilts. Today I will start a new quilt, a Nine Patch. I've also started my last Gail Wilson doll kit.

You can barely see the pencil lines but the body parts are there. I am in the MAIDA group, one for making and collecting primitive and antique cloth dolls. One of the members decided that she was going to work on something for her everyday and not at the end of the day. I think that's kind of cool. So this is my project for the day, for me. To get this little lady sewn. I'll stuff her tomorrow.

Another project for me is to write a short story. 2015 will be the year to "Finish My Sh**" according to Chuck Wendig. I have many stories started and now it's time to work and polish them and get them done. So three things for today:

1. Start the Nine Patch
2. sew the doll parts together
3. write my short story

Time for me to go. See ya soon.

Second Scrappy Quilt

Here's my second scrappy quilt. It needs borders and I have to go out fabric shopping to get the fabric. And for the back.

#scrappyquilt #red

Also On My Table

I've been writing up a storm since July 5th.  A total of 3892 words.  Mostly on  Map Hunter II but finished up the rough draft of a short story.  One of my goals for the month is to finish MH II rough draft.  I'm liking the way the story is coming along and my main character is finding more trouble while making new friends who help her out.  My characters have queued up again and they are quite happy I'm back to putting words to paper.

It has been a crazy past two weeks and I really can't tell you what happened except that I had some kind of epiphany and will now conduct my creativity in a different way.  I had been putting things I was supposed to be doing on hold, waiting for other things to happen.  Well, I will no longer be waiting for things to happen, I will be making them happen for me.  Time waits for no one.  So it's time to make a move.  A positive one.  Another goal is to finish one doll a week.  I had started these two gals a few weeks ago. Now they have undies.

I plan on their dress to be very colorful and have lots of braids and ribbons in their hair.  Their shoes are painted on.

I don't know why I get to 80 or 90% of a project done and not finish it.  Maybe it's a creative thing, I don't know.  I will work on that.  I will also give myself permission to do one doll at a time and not get hung up on a series of dolls.  Now I've got to tackle that Halloween list.

The Day After and a New Year

Okay then. I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July, whether you had to work or not, I hope you had a chance to spend time with friends and loved ones.  I did absolutely nothing except cook for the rest of the week.  My schedule is getting full and I've decided to make some changes.  I'm still working on being nicer to me and have decided that my time will be directed more to all that I want to do.  I'm stepping my game up several notches and moving full steam ahead on all things creative.  I don't know if I had an epiphany or what but my eyes have been open to the way I've done business.  No more.

What I am also doing is giving up one thing each month for the rest of the year.  It's a personal challenge I got from Zen Habits by Leo Babauta and I thought I'd give it a try.  It's A Year of Living Without, going a whole month giving up one thing I do regularly.  At the end of the month I will evaluate whether I enjoyed giving the thing up, whether it was worth leaving it out of my life, or do I need to put it back in.  The next month I'll give up something else.  It's an experiment to simplify one's life, finding out what's necessary and possibly making room for other cool things in my life. It's really nice because I can change my list as the year progresses if I find other things I want to give up.  At the end of the month, I will post what I've learned.  Leo is also doing the challenge which is cool.  I was debating on showing my whole list but I guess I'll do it in case you want to try to give up something in your world.  I'll start off with the first three months.

1. July - Give up TV.  Since I only have local channels that shouldn't be that difficult  But it also includes Netflix, You Tube and other video entertainment.  I've cut myself a little slack by being able to watch DVDs that I like because I work better with background noise.  I'll also be listening to a lot more music.  That's just how I roll.  I will replace it with reading more books.  We'll see how many I can finish by the end of the month.

2. August - No longer sitting longer than 30 minutes at a time.  Get up for 15 minutes and do something else. Replacement habit is to stretch more.

3. September - No dairy, that includes eggs, cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt.  Replace with more fruits and veggies.

Other things I will be doing as I move forward on this journey will be:

• Again, be nicer to me.
• Get Map Hunter II rough draft done
• Re-do my wardrobe (which is in seriously bad shape after losing lots of weight)
• Take more pictures of me
• Get going on my new Halloween pieces.
• Finish my second pair of socks
• Get that quilt top done 

That's it for right now.  Always a gazillion things to do and so little time.  Maybe I can change that around this month. Stay tuned.

Almost A Week In

I can't explain it but this year didn't start off as planned. That's what I get for being excited about something. Cow patties hit the fan and you just don't know what happened. So, one day at a time. Looking back on what I was to accomplish last year, well, that didn't go as planned either. Other things did get done and were created from scratch but many unfinished personal projects didn't make the cut. But I am bound and determined to get my quilt tops together. Again. That's one of my plans. I'm not giving up.

So, for right now, this is what's going on. I'm working on a commission that I want to get done withing the next two weeks. Bills are rolling in. I want to finish the last block to my Hop To It quilt so I can put all the blocks together. I'm doing quite well keeping up with Bless This House and by the time we get to the last pieces, that will be together. I will do my best to keep up with Sketchbook Challenge challenges. This month is artist dates. Seeing as I just read the info, I'm behind a week but that's okay. I will figure out what I want to do and start this week. I really want to start sketching again.

 The last block for Hop To It. I'm finally working on it. It's not my most favorite of all the blocks and because of that, I hadn't finish the top. Now, I'm just tired of having loose quilt blocks laying around, so I'm working on it.

This is the beginning of the top panel to Bless This House. I still have to applique the trees down.

Sorry this pic is horrendous. I took it with my cell phone and not able to fix it. I can't get pics off my camera card and will be begging for help from a computer friend. But it shows the floor of my studio. I can see it and get around the room. Three trash bags of junk. I do need to make a trip to Goodwill. I can also get to my sewing machine.

I still need to straighten some things but now I can work while doing so. The creative juices are flowing again.

Here's my jar and felt pieces to cover it. It's going to be my 'Good Things' jar. I will write down when good things happen to me and place them in the jar. On New Year's Eve, I will read through them so I can be reminded of some of the cool things that happened throughout the year.

I still have lists. We'll see what happens.