Plot Twist

There's a meme going around on Facebook that says something like, 'If life is not going the way you planned, call it a plot twist and keep going.' Not the exact words but that's how I'm feeling right now. I don't know what has been going on this month. My birthday month. The month I had such promise of nice things and it kind of went the route of a poopy diaper. After a month, the AC in my studio was finally fixed but now everything I'd been working on is off track and I'm trying to get things back on the rails. And it's been a slow month for longarming but I've been hanging in there with the 30 day challenge. I believe I can keep it up once the 30 days are up. We shall see. What was a 30 day challenge is morphing into a bona fide project. A large one that will be in progress for some time to come. The cool thing is that I'm ready for that challenge. Scary? Yes. But I'm feeling this down in my soul to keep going. I'm still working on details of the uber project, so I can't give out too much information at this time but stay tuned. It's going to be fun.

Grateful for my friends but one in particular who has been really great when the lave heat of life just won't leave me alone. She has kindly held the tiniest fan with the greatest breeze and with kind words of encouragement helped me through this month. No one can tell me I don't have determination and perseverance. I guess I have a hard head but my heart is bursting with creative things I want to make and show the world. Even if some don't get it. Because my light is great. I'm going to repeat one of my favorite quotes.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is out Light, not our Darkness that

most frightens us.

- Marianne Williamson

Get ready to put your sunglasses on.

I'm A Work In Progress

Still.

I found this quote on the webs...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us”.
-Marianne Williamson 


I had a chance to talk to a life coach this week. It was quite interesting. She told me something that I already knew, which was that I was stuck, but there were other things I found out. She had me write several prompts. One was a list of things that have not gone well in the past couple of years, one listing good things that have happened, what good things did I garnish from the bad list and things I got from the good things list. Then I had to come up with insights from the first two lists. Well, I discovered that things weren't as bad as I had thought they were. Actually, I was neck-in-neck with good happenings and bad happenings. I did discover that there were some things that were kind of repeated and I just need to find a way to let them go because they aren't serving me well at all. Things like: being told I can't do something because of age, gender, color, education, place I lived and the continuous negative loop I played in my head on a regular basis. That will have to stop. I realized that it's okay for me to like me. To take care of me. To take a break when I need it. It's not being a narcissist, I'm not harming anyone in this process. But in order for me to progress, I need to be kinder to me. The coach said that I'm having a hard time taking that next step because of the loop and suggested a book to read that should help me get to the next step. I'll check the library.

I do feel better right now. Just from those prompts and seeing what was going on in my head. Sometimes you just need to have another brain that has nothing to gain from you to help you out. Then I read the above quote and it's dead on. I'm not afraid of failure. I've done lots of that and kept going. Success... that light of success is a scary thing. My light wants to shine and I continue to throw a blanket over it. I will work on that too.