I know, I'm not doing well posting on a regular basis. I've had another deal go south and it sent me into an emotional downward spiral. This bunny hop type dance is getting old, especially since it's not in my favor. I didn't pull my hair out but asked why and what's going on? I did cry. Not buckets but the alligator tears did escape. I allowed the fear to slam dunk me. It wasn't good.
Then I started thinking of looking for another job. Doing what, I asked? Anything I'm remotely interested, and by that I mean taking a vacation on a remote island with an active volcano, I'd have to go back to school. I've done that. I've had the jobs that were available, the ones people thought I'd be good in, the ones people knew I should be doing because I was so nice. What do I do because the mean life sucking bills are walking up the street to my place. I worked myself up into a good frenzy to the point of being paralyzed, and did nothing. So I went to bed early last night. Didn't fall asleep until after Samurai Jack made his exit.
I am an artist. That is my job. I have an opportunity to show my creative stuff to the world. Bad things, stupid things, things that don't work are going to happen. Will I get upset? Yes. Will I cry again? Probably. Will things get better?
Yes.
I opened my eyes this morning. I thanked the universe, my higher being, and my ancestors for being here. Right now. In this place. And the little voice, very deep inside me said...
"Try again."
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6 comments:
you are very very brave and I admire your willingness to get up and keep on going! Making art is necessary, even when it doesn't pay the bills!
Keep doing what you do best.
you can do it Wendy- you WILL do it Wendy and when you get there it will mean so much to you because you will remember these tears and the fear you felt and know that you deserve every single bit of your success. I believe in you and send you positive energy sweetie ♥
I don't think there is anything that you can't do, Wendy Lu :) We all eventually have to go through moments where something happens and we must choices about what we want to do with our lives. We must tell ourselves to keep going.
And when you least expect it, something even better than you imagined will surely happen and make all those downfalls seem like stepping stones. You're a very talented artist and craftswoman. You can do it!
~the OTHER Wendy Lu
The Red Angel Blog
Thank you Jody. Making art is necessary, even when it doesn't pay the bills. I do hope that at some point it will pay something. Your comment made me smile.
Kim, thanks for the encouragement and believing in me. I'm feeling your positive energy. Hugs.
Little Wendy Lu, you are so sweet. Thank you for the encouragement and kind words. You rock too!
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