Eek! What was I thinking? That this would be a good year. It's the end. Again. Didn't we just have 4th of July? Not only was I sick for two weeks and the stupid cough is still lingering, I now have tendinitis of my right thumb. That's been going on for about a week too. Feeling a bit defeated but I'm too stupid to stay down. The thumb is feeling better and getting more movement but it still hurts when I try to grab things. I can hold some things, thankfully, but it's not 100%.
Being sick and incapacitated with the hand put me in a bit of depression. I had lost three weeks of work time. I know, I should not be hard on myself but it's me. This is the busiest time of the year for me. I was extremely hard on myself and there wasn't much I could do about it. I was sick. I had to get better. The thumb on the other hand, came out of left field. Again, I thought I was being punished for wanting to be a creative person. One who was doing more than just barely surviving. The head was saying quit. Life is too hard. Life sucks for people like you. But the heart...
The heart says 'NO'.
At this point in time, quitting is not an option. To create is to live. I am allowed to cry buckets. I am allowed time to heal. Then I will continue on that fantastic road. There will be no name calling. I will be nice to me. I have many ideas and characters waiting for me to give birth to them. They are waiting for me to show them to the world. This journey I've started is still in its infancy and there is no giving up. Not now.
I have a commission to do. I have two shows next month to prepare for. I am back in the ring.
The basic shapes for two Day of the Dead masks. The jaw may be too strong but this is the start of them. I will work on them today along with catching up on NaNo. Thanks for checking in on me. See ya soon.
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2 comments:
Wendy- you know you are being too hard on yourself. You cannot control sicknesses or injuries- you know that. I know this sucks and it makes me so sad that you fall into depressions- but I know that when you look back on your life you will be happy and proud that you took this chance. I am so proud of you my friend- I wish I could take away the crap parts for you. Hang in there- greatness is still coming to you ♥
Thanks Kim. I know I'm the hardest on myself and it isn't my fault that I got sick. Sometimes when one stupid thing happens on top of another, you just don't know what to do. Except to take a step back and breathe. I have to get my bravery back and take on the rest of the year. <3
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