This year hasn't been going like I had planned. I didn't jump out of my creative gate and the procrastination ghouls have been appearing. I was about to start pulling my hair out because I had so many plans and nothing was getting done. Not good enough, who will like my stuff.
Well...
Someone does. I really hope I can get this link up right.
http://www.germmagazine.com/loved-through-the-years-three-centuries-of-black-dolls/
I has a spot in a brand new online magazine for pre-teen and teen girls. There's art, writing, music, videos, all that will help them be empowered. And I'm a part of it. At the beginning. From the ground up.
THAT... is pretty awesome.
At first I didn't think so. I found everything that was wrong and began to beat myself up. All of those past demons of not being perfect, good enough surface from some stinky dark and gooey pit. I called a friend because I should have been excited. She said it was up to me to be happy about this and not worry about expectations of others or trying to be perfect or worry and be in a very sad state.
I have decided to kick Bad Wendy to the curb, again. This is a good moment. A wonderful moment for me. I have accomplished something really cool. Me. This is where my hard works has gotten me so far. I am proud of me. After all, this is what I've wanted. Or at least part of it.
Will I ever feel low again? Maybe, at some point. But next time, I will tell myself that I deserve something nice. I deserve recognition for good work. That it is good and okay. Right now, I will not allow what has happened when I was growing up, or when I wanted to begin my art career when I was younger. Today is a new day and I will embrace it. I like me. I like my creative growth over the past several years. Great things have yet to come. 2014 will be my happy year. I will make it so. You are my witnesses. As a creative person, what do you grapple with?
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2 comments:
Congratulations Wendy! the article was great and so insightful. It beats me why your self doubt erupted - your work is incredible. A gift, you should never be allowed to doubt.
Easier said than done right? I have self doubt all the time - but I think for me, it's because I am never quite satisfied, and strive to reach new goals, which often seem unreachable. Life may be easier to not bother, but not so much fun right? You need the lows, to appreciate the highs...
Keep going Wendy!!
Thanks Abi. I don't know what happened or why that erupted seeing that I did so well handling that last year. I will keep at it. Thanks again.
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