This past weekend wasn't a good one at all. Along with the crazy weather, I just couldn't get anything done. I did work on bat ornaments but that was it. No writing, no artwork, no dolls, no quilting... Zippo. I don't know if it's because things are going in a different direction or if I just needed to rest. Or because of all the rotten news I've been getting. The wife of my last uncle was buried this past week; my mom's last good neighbor passed away (she and her husband were the first people my mom and I met when we moved into our house, they were great neighbors); and my last aunt is in the hospital. My mom came from a large family. She is number thirteen of fourteen. The last girl in the family. I guess it hit me. They're gone.
I grew up in a wonder and wacky and talented extended family. Now that I look back, I am so grateful for having been a part of that. That huge thing. From the problems, hang ups, marriages good and bad, being there for each other, getting together for birthdays or just whatever. How we would all get together when someone visited from out-of-state. The cookouts, relatives playing live music, the laughing, and dancing and storytelling. The hugs. The life lessons. The encouragements they gave to me as a child.
I truly miss that.
Are they watching me? Rooting for me to keep going? Are they together making music, laughing, and dancing? Waiting for the time when we're all together again?
Maybe I should get back to writing my memories of them down. The stories that they've told me. Before I forget. I guess this past weekend was for me to take time to stop, remember, and thank them. It's not time for me to give up just yet. They wouldn't want that.
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2 comments:
You have been very blessed. Your post brought tears to my eyes. My family was the opposite of yours. We were strewn on opposite sides of the country and didn't speak to each other except for one time a year call. Grudges are held forever with no hope of redemption. Except for my sister, who died last Christmas. She was all I had. Write your stories down and let the younger generation have them. I have been in an artistic funk too, since her death, but it will come back again, I am sure...same as yours. Creativity is a force that is very hard to quash. Good luck!
Thank you Christina G. Condolences to you. I finally finished something and I will post about that. Give yourself some time. From a person who has gone through years of a creative funk, I know about down time. Good luck to you too. Cheers!
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