Monday

A new day of a new week of a new month. That's a mouthful. Today was a good day. I was able to longarm two preemie quilts, made binding and attached it to one of them, started a list for a huge project, organized and tallied receipts from last month (will be doing that once a month for end of year taxes, yes, I'm thinking of making next year's taxes as easy as possible), wrote a rough draft for a short story, attached Raggedy Ann's limbs (she was supposed to be done last year for her 100th anniversary), and stuffed arms for two Halloween dolls.

She's got big feet but that's okay. The thing is is to get her done. Paint job will be this week.

April

It's April. A new month. It's spring. Things are blossoming. The temperatures are still figuring out whether to stay a constant warm or go back to winter. The birdsong outside my window in the morning has changed. Migrating birds have come back. The local farmer's market will start up again for the summer season as well as all sorts of festivals. Part of me wants to blab about all what I want to do. But the other part wants to stay quiet and see if I can do it. I turned the page on my calendar. It's so blank. I use it to write down what I've accomplished, worked on, or finished. It's so blank.

But pretty soon it will start to fill up. I will continue my writing. I won't give up on that. I will continue sketching bears because they are part of a larger project. I will be working on Halloween inventory for an upcoming art/craft show or two. I'm still planning on reopening my Etsy shop. Some things are still up in the air. Others are in planning stages. I lost my focus last month and will work towards getting it back this month. One weird month out of three is okay. It's spring. And it's time for new things. I'm ready for new things. I may have to put my big girl undies on and actually go out and do things on my own. I think I will make a sort of bucket list for my state. Things I want to do and places to go, not necessarily before I die but because I want to and they are around. I've got to come up with another title for that list.

Okay then. April, here I come.

Made It

I survived another month. March is now in the record books. It wasn't a great month. Fell off the turnip truck yet again but I've picked myself up, dusted myself off, and I'm looking for another truck to hop on. So here's what happened:

• 2 books read
• 12 days of writing
• 4 business quilts
• 2 preemie quilt tops together, 1 longarmed
• 12 World of Wendy Lu blog posts 
• 6 Wendy B Quilts blog posts
• worked on 3 Halloween projects
• worked on 2 regular dolls
• a lot of bear sketches
• 4 alcohol ink paintings
• 2 art workshops attended
• 1 writing workshop attended

Now that I look at the list, it wasn't a bad month. I will focus on what I did do and not the things I didn't do. I'm okay with that.

Quilting

Yesterday I longarmed a preemie quilt and started a client's quilt. I made Frank a body, found my doll ears I've been looking for for about six months (I did a good job on those ears and really liked them), worked on a paranormal short story which seems to be turning into a novel, and sketched some bears.

Today, I finished the quilt, worked on the paranormal story, and prepped the next quilt which is on the frame right now.

I still have a few hours left until I give up for the day. I didn't do anything on Sunday, it being the holiday and all. But I've kind of made up for it the past two days. Tomorrow is Wednesday. I thought today was Wednesday but it isn't. Hopefully I can rectify my flip flop days. A new month is almost here. I'm only thinking about the rest of the evening.

Day 1

I was using today as the first day to break out of my comfort zone. The first part didn't go so well. I didn't get started until about five PM. But I got started and finished the first part of a new project. That's what I told myself that I would do today. The first step. The other project to work on is my writing which I will do that after I post this. I have no idea how this will turn out. It's something totally new. So we'll see.

Comfort Zone

I have slid into a comfort zone and I'm having a hard time getting out of it. Back in February, I wanted to have a project done a week. I did it. I was working on some old things and started some new things but I got four projects done. This month, not so great. My subconscious was telling me to knock it off. That things were getting a little uncomfortable. That's what change is. Uncomfortable. So I did nothing. Why rock the boat? Why have people look at me and question why I decided to do new things. Yes, it sounds stupid but I've found out that it goes all the way back to being a kid. I wasn't challenged to be great with my art. So I did just enough to make good grades. I didn't rock the boat. I didn't push my artwork because I was told it wouldn't get me anywhere. That art wasn't a viable career. So I coasted and fell into a comfort zone. That has plagued me until this day.

I am not done yet. I don't have a time machine to take me back to talk to my younger self. To say that I'm okay and so is my artwork. And there are wonderful occupations out there to do if I take that leap. Sometimes I think that I'm too old to start anything new but that's just not the case these days. I have so many wild, crazy, and creative ideas swirling around in my head. Will all of them work? Maybe not but if I don't work on them, I'll never know. Now that I do know where this psychosis comes from, it's time to do something about it. Have successes every month instead of every other month or every six months. Work on dealing with the fear. The worry that things won't turn out. Neither one gets you anywhere. And I'm tired of being held back.

I will start on my new projects this weekend. Do two minutes to see how things go. I'm usually good once I get started. I'm starting to shake already. We'll see.

Moving Right Along

At the beginning of the year, I said that I was going to make this my year. The past few years hadn't been great and I'm looking for a change. It's still early on and I will continue to work on it being my year. I'm not a fortune teller and have no idea of what will truly happen but I will work towards something very nice. I deserve that. I have quite a few friends on Facebook who are having an awfully hard time with this year and they want it over already. My hearts and prayers go out to them. It's been a strange year so far. Illnesses, deaths (in family and not), separations and divorces, those losing jobs, having cross country moves... I can't wrap my head around it and I don't know if I should try. Last week was a bump in the road. The change of seasons and the weird weather, the time change, and allergies. Those things kind of knocked me down and the doubts tried to set in. So for three days, I did nothing. I'm grateful that I could do nothing. I watched the spring sunlight change in my apartment. I straightened my apartment and work area. And I got rest. Now my head is clearer and I can move forward.

I've decided that I would not give up on some 'way out there' dreams. Like my trip to Scotland that I've wanted to do for over 30 years. My friend I was planning on taking the adventure with has decided that she can't think about it until her living and job situation changes. I get that. I truly understand. But I thought about it. If I give up my dreams, whether they happen or not, I've given up on a part of me. That dream may be the one thing to keep me going through all the other daily muck that happens. This dream may take several more years to accomplish but it's still there in my heart. The one bright beacon I can focus on. So I will tell her that I will dream for the both of us until she is ready to join in again. I know I will start guarding my time a bit more. Saying no a bit more often. Concentrating on what I want to do and where I want to go with it. I get one chance at this life. I will fight to make the best of it.

Here are my latest sketches of bears. I will do more this week.