Another distraction. Going through everything I'd taken out of the cabinet. I was able to get rid of a few things, wiped down the shelves, rearranged what was left, sprayed for buggies, and put everything back nice and neat. Believe it or not, I've got more room down there.
By the time all was said and done (thank goodness the plumber was a decent young man), it was mid-afternoon. I hadn't planned on cleaning but the cabinet was empty. Makes sense, right? But then the creative juices disappeared. I did get the doll hair I ordered last week but it didn't spark me to do anything worthwhile. I was beat!
There's a week left of this month. This one went by faster than August but it doesn't seem like I got anything done. Things seem to have fallen flat. I did get things done but there were distractions. What I have to work on, is what to do when there are 'distractions'. There were also minor distractions this month and I was able to pick one thing and do it. But for the bigger distractions, I seemed to have forgotten that fact and allowed my emotions to run amok. I know pushing through these barriers can be done. I will continue to work at it so I can get better working alongside the distractions. After all, it's up to me now.
One thing I let drop by the side of the road were my lists. This was the first month I didn't really have any lists written down. Some people don't bother with lists. They just pick something to do and go with the flow. Good for them. I have learned that I do better in a more structured environment and that includes lists. I'm still flexible with what I do, but I need to have in front of me:
- what I want to do
- what needs to be done soon
- what needs to be done next week
- what needs to be done NOW
- what is up in the future
Another thing I had stopped doing was writing down, documenting what I had accomplished. Why? Because there will be times when I get into a snit and start to put myself down because I don't think I'm doing enough. I can then go back and look at that list of accomplishments, finished projects, progress on big projects and remind myself that I've been doing what I want to do. Sometimes when I'm in a mood of self bashing, Maya will ask me what I've finished. I'd say, 'nothing' but then ramble off a list to her. Then she'd give me this look like I'm such a bucket head. A creative one, but most definitely a bucket head. Good thing we're friends. Then I'd say, "Oh yeah, I did do something." I need to be proud of what I've done and not hide it.
I have to continue to look for my positives and I will get back to writing down my accomplishments and successes. Even steps of progress. I'm doing this for me. I will also get back to my lists. It works for me. You have to be brave enough to try different things that will make you better in order to get things done, to get the things you want in your life. If lists don't work for you... it's okay. It has to work for you. Not me. Not your parents. Not your spouse (although you do want a balance). Not your kids (if they see you working on your passion, they'll pick up on it).
I've also discovered that I don't have a particular time of day when I'm the most productive. I've read lots saying that you should find when you're most productive to write, work on something new, be creative. Yeah right. When I had a job, I was forced to have productive times of day. I thought that maybe it was the morning, then it was early afternoon, and at another time it was early evening. After the job, I was making myself crazy because I wasn't consistent with a schedule. Yet somehow, I was getting things done.
Sooooo... my most productive time of day is whenever I'm doing something. It could be 9 on the AM or 2 on the AM when most of the world is sleeping. As long as I'm getting something done is what matters to me. I'm still learning about me and how I want to work. My canvas is not complete. I like that.
I would like to welcome D Lane to the party at www.symphonicsoliloquy.blogspot.com